Living Vicariously
by Zadien
Summary: Mary Susanne has invaded the Beyblade world; Mariam will stop her. "Look at you, with your multi-changing eye colour and your, what was it, three bitbeasts? Overcompensating much?All of that just distracts from the fact that you don't have a personality that actually can stand on its own. You're a template for a navigator, someone who wishes to live vicariously through you."


A.N. **I don't own Beyblade.**

This is a parody. I don't have a problem with OCs because that would be hypocritical, I'm a writer who uses OCs. I just felt like writing this story, maybe to try to highlight a few bad habits we fanfiction writers make. I am poking fun at myself too.

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**Living Vicariously**

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Her name was Mary Susanne and she was Japanese/Russian/American with a good dose of Irish and Scottish, and at 18, she was a really good blader. She just had to remember that. Tugging on a strand of gold hair, she nervously chewed her plump lower lip and tapped her foot against the grass that covered the hill overlooking a park.

In her pocket, a beyblade pulsed in comfort, her three bitbeasts crooning in her mind. Yes, she would be fine.

* * *

"Three, two, one, Let it Rip!" The blades clashed against each other in the dish in the sunny park. On one side the Bladebreakers cheered loudly, on the other the handsome Blitzkrieg boys moodily stood, darkly handsome with their arms folded over their broad chests.

Suddenly another blade launched into the dish and knocked the others out.

They turned in shock and stared at the stunningly gorgeous, breathtakingly curvaceous young girl standing on the verge with her skirt fluttering in the wind. They could all see her panties and they all thought it was super sexy.

'She's hot,' Bryan thought.

'Such striking pink eyes,' Kai sighed.

Tala smirked. 'I'd like to f*** her right –'

_Stop. Please stop._

Mary Susanne looked around wildly, blue eyes wild. Where had that voice come from? It wasn't one of her three bitbeasts.

"Who are you?" Tyson asked after rolling up his tongue.

Tala, who was 21 and 5ft 11"_, _cocked a hip and smirked cockily. "Speak up, pet."

_He's now English, and how do you know his height and age? Are you a stalker? _

Mary Susanne's sultry mouth parted, trembled and then pouted. "Who is speaking?"

"You're supposed to be tell us who you are, and why you're interrupting their bey battle," Hilary said snootily. She was such a bitch. She knew that Mary Susanne would steal all the boys away from her.

_Actually, I think she's justified in asking._

Mary Susanne scrubbed her temples with her knuckles. People were always jealous because she was just too nice.

"Let's just go," Kai muttered, but was privately and possessively thinking about bending her over a table backwards and upside down while doing the twist. He'd just met her but he knew she was his. Inside his head something was chanting mine, mine, mine. He was also 5ft 10" and –

_Unless you're going to tell me another set of inches, I'm not interested. _

Susanne stepped back, tucking her golden hair behind her ears, her purple eyes scanning her surroundings.

The scenery began to ripple and a strange wind whipped up. The game, which Mary Susanne had initially interrupted, was now continuing on and none of the bladers looked her way.

_Ah yes, now you realise that your delusions aren't quite as realistic as you assumed. Didn't you wonder how you could hear their thoughts, dearest Mary Susanne? _

"Who are you?" Mary Susanne demanded.

A split formed in the scenery and a woman stalked out of a dark swirling gash in the air. Her blue hair streamed behind her, tied back in a high ponytail.

"My name is Mariam of the Saint Shields. And I'm here to stop you. My Village knew you would reappear, so they – "

"I've not been here before," Mary Susanne said, so softly and sweetly that birds wept.

Mariam jerked a shoulder and muffled a yawn. "Maybe not you, but others of your ilk. You plague our world, you force yourself upon our people and you pervert things. Honestly, don't you see how strange it is that your greatest desire is for them to twist you up like a pretzel and do things to you? They didn't even get your name. There's no emotion there, there's no respect –

"You're just jealous."

"Oh no, no, I'm really not. Horrified, yes, I'm horrified. Creatures like you that come to my world terrify me. I worry that you will consume and twist my world into a vapid one-dimensional version of you."

"You think I'll steal Kai and Tala and –"

"Personally, Bryan's more my type – kind of got a thing going with him –, but what you fail to realise is that the Kai and Tala you think about are mere shadows of the people they really are. You plant thoughts into their heads that don't belong with who they are. You play with their emotions, blacken their hearts, crumble their will and you do the same to everyone around you."

"Well I like them like this."

"You would. It fits your desires. You warp them. Look at you, with your multi-changing eye colour and your, what was it, three bitbeasts? Overcompensating much? All these things, your very curvaceous curves, your clothes, your pretty face, your bitbeasts, your nationalities; let me guess, you're super special and can speak several languages without much study, right? All of that just distracts from the fact that you don't have a personality that actually can stand on its own. You're a void, a template for a navigator, someone who wishes to live vicariously through you and you're the attractive package to get into people's lives and suck out their souls. I mean, really, you're not to blame. It is the navigators, but they're harder to find, so I have to deal with you. Which is why I'm here."

Mary Susanne didn't have to take this. She knew she was being victimised, bullied by this overly bitchy prep just because she was jealous. This always happened to Mary Susanne, no matter where she went. She once popped into Konoha Village and all the girls there were super bitchy, and then they threw kunai at her, so she had tried somewhere with a little less oestrogen; but that didn't go well either. One of the ditzy blondes pitched a spanner at her head; the other set her dog upon poor Mary Susanne.

But before Mary Susanne could turn on her heels to stomp over to the bishis, her legs locked as the earth began to slurp on her feet. She sucked in a sharp breath and froze. Quick sand? No, she was still standing upon the grassy knoll as the purple clouds above swirled over her.

"What's happening?"

Mariam threw up her palm as lightning began to flash. "Sharkrash knock this monstrosity back into the Nether!"

"NO!" Mary Susanne screamed, her mind suddenly flashing with images. The molten lava, the squares, so many squares and the Pigmen!

There was a flash of light and suddenly the sky was once again clear and bright, the soft scented breeze played over the grass as the large green and purple shark circled over his mistress.

* * *

Blowing out a breath, Mariam tightened her ponytail, snapped a piece of blueberry bubble-gum and held her beyblade up. "Well that was anticlimactic. You know, some day Sharkrash, we're going to have to fight a navigator, it's the only way to stop the Mary Susanne's and the Sparkle Rainbows."

The bitbeast burbled a dismissive sound and Mariam chuckled. Yeah she didn't think that would ever happen either. Navigators were thick on the ground and every time one was destroyed, another four sprang up in its place, so she resigned herself to seeking out the Mary Susanne's who plagued her world. At least it gave the Saint Shields something to do now that they were no longer attempting to seal bitbeasts.

"Let's go give Maxie a rematch." And maybe have the side benefit of making Bryan feel something in his trousers… if there was anything there. Honestly, she was really beginning to doubt it.

With a smirk, Mariam tucked her hands into the front pockets of her brown jacket and strode down the hill, watching the figures in the distance coming closer.

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_Fin_

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**1**. Don't take this too seriously guys, I just wanted to write something fun before I throw myself into doing Camp Nano again, and if you read something in this and think, shit I do that, don't worry about it. If it's something you want to change, change it, if it's something you don't, don't. Writing is all about learning and changing, refining your skills. I'm still learning which is why I feel okay about poking fun at myself over this.

**2**. And it's a parody so it needed a suitably serious title.

**3**. Also I acknowledged two other animes/mangas that Mary Susanne visited, can you name them?


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